So, I'm walking down L St in DC, between 18th and 19th, I think yesterday, and BAM! I get hit by a poster that's similar to the picture accompanying this text. There's some group called Marriage Works USA, which had to take up posters like that to convince people of something. I wonder why.The M word, Marriage, has been on the news the whole time I've been in the US. California is beginning same sex marriage this week, and I ran into this Liz Smith interview on the pages of NY Daily News titled, "Advice to Those About to Marry: Don't! Here's Why ...", explaining that a $30,000 marriage in the US is hardly worth it. You tell 'em sista! Wait, did I read it right? $30,000? That's my one year's tuition and living expenses for college!
I went to Charlotte for the weekend last week, and lo and behold, there's a couple celebrating their 25th anniversary. I was really happy for them, and helped out at the party, but I felt like a fish out of water when I couldn't find a random dancing partner, or couldn't muster up enthusiasm for others.
And of course, I went to see Sex and the City this week by myself, which revolves around Sarah Jessica Parker parading all the bridal fashion designers before settling on a woman designer (not Vera Wang, the only one I know). I was watching the non existent wristwatch on my hand in the dark and thinking, what a waste of my $10.50. Too much Carrie, and not enough Big, that's my assessment of the movie. And yet, I teared up when they finally does it in City Hall... get married, that is (get your mind out of the gutter, will you?).
Am I testy about the M word? Hardly. I do recognize that this is a tricky time, I promised to commit to someone on last July, then broke off the entire relationship before that, and then second guessed my decision (the relationship, not the marriage) for a long time. At the same time, the sky didn't fall down, the world didn't end because the wedding or marriage didn't happen.
Calvin once mentioned yelling at someone for suggesting that getting married would have tax advantage, because he, like so many of us, have bought into the notion of "togetherness". I am not against it, I want to earn more money. And I like the fact that it allows my sweetie Marufa to be in another country with the man she loves. At the same token, I also encounter calls from a friend because someone's marriage broke down just 3 days after the wedding ceremony. I bet they haven't even paid the caterer.
But if there are paid posters proclaiming the benefits of marriage, maybe I'm not the only delusioned fool.
I feel safety in numbers.
