493. In Praise of White Lies

Maybe I'm too Bangladeshi, but I find it unacceptable to hurt people when a white lie would spare their feelings. Honesty is definitely not my best policy.

The funniest case of painful honesty involves my sister. One of my good friends suggested my niece's name when she was born, and my sister also arrived at the same name after much consultation. My friend was very pleased that the name was chosen, but when I told my sister, she suggested that I clarify to her that the name was arrived at by coincidence, not from her suggestion. Of course, I didn't bother to.

I'm cursed with having a family obsessed with accuracy - being a son of a chemist, and brother of an engineer and a doctor, and all three of them born under gemini sign means you spend an inordinate amount of time being correct, not so much being polite or considerate of other people's feelings.

One of the things that drive me off the wall is when I go out for meals with people, and in the cafe or restaurant, my friends bring out the jar of hand sanitizer. To me, it's the equivalent of a middle finger to the restaurant establishment - your restaurant isn't clean enough, or doesn't have adequate facilities, that's why I'm going to put my sanitizer bottle on your table and help myself for all to see. Would it kill to do it in stealth? If I ever own a restaurant, I'll ban outside hand sanitizers.

If I owned a restaurant, I'll probably ban french speaking yugoslav-americans as well. A few days ago, one such woman kept a dinner conversation about her experience in Sweden, and loudly proclaimed that she found the swedes to be distant, aloof and depressed (in so many words, and believe me she spoke quite a few words). I'd have to say that after meeting the Dhaka Swede crowd, I can proudly say that she couldn't be far from the truth, and my friends are by far the classiest ladies on the planet. This is the first time I was compelled to point out the error of her ways, albeit gently.

Another mind-blowing truth telling happened on thursday night, which triggered this entry. I was invited to a party, and I invited along my new housemate. So at the end of the evening, my housemate went over to the hostess to thank her, and said, "Thanks for inviting me to the party, I had a great time". And the hostess, whose nationality I'll suppress for Kabul being too small, replied back, "Well, great, you can thank Imteaz, because he invited you". I just sort of did a double take, and just sneaked out of the house, wondering how that must have gone over with my housemate.

People, it doesn't cost much to be considerate of other people's feelings. A little white lie, when used well, can really bring peace and prosperity on earth. Why do you think all the wars start? Do you think the entire 20 year Trojan war could've been avoided if the dumb jock Paris had the commonsense to cut the apple three ways, and offer it to the deities equally?