Memory and Desire

You know you are growing old when you can even properly remember your favorite experiences. I was recently recounting a favorite sensual encounter from 10-12 years ago. I suddenly realized that I completely mixed up the timeline and place, and attributed the encounter to a different person. It gave me a pause.

There are two ways to look at this:

1. An experience loses context if not properly preserved. Even though it probably won't make the cut in my memoir, but the intensity of it will diminish if I can't remember how I was feeling at a certain time, the state of mind, the emotional impact the experience had on me for the subsequent days, etc.

2. I am lucky to have so many good experiences that it is no longer required to hold on to the memory of a single experience for lifetime, and should appreciate the flow of opportunities.

When we were growing up, in our 5th grade religion class we were taught about the two bangla words, Premik and Premashpod, that is the lover and the object of love, respectively. Even though conversation revolved around religion and our form of love of the higher being, but the essence I took was that it doesn't matter what the object of your affection is, the only thing that matters is how that makes you feel about yourself.

So true.