476. The Kabul Express

One of the things here that gets me flustered everytime is what I call "the Kabul Express". The Kabul Express is the fast and relentless greeting mechanism that people use to inquire your well-being. Although lately I find this amusing and play ball.

It goes like this, you meet someone, if it's someone of same sex, you kiss them on the cheeks, both cheeks, then followed by a hug, and then the bullet train begins:

"Good Morning. How are you? OK? How's your health? OK? How's your family? Great! How's your family's health? OK? How's your children? Good. How's the weather? Good. Everything good? Praise the lord, and so on..."

All of this "conversation" is done by both parties simultaneously in one breath under 5 seconds without anyone really answering anything. This goes even faster when done in Dari or Pashto, I think they slow down in English just to think of the appropriate words. I think, in Dari, they also throw in religious greetings, and I'm still gearing up the nerve to ask someone what "Sa Shama Khub" and "Bamane Khoda" means (Khub means well, and Khoda is the almighty). I hear them everyday, and I'm embarassed that I don't know the meaning after four months.

I belong to the stoic school of thought. My greeting mechanism consists of a "Hi" and a smile and if you're far away, maybe a hand wave of acknowledgment. If I've had three cups of hot chocolate at Kabul Coffee Shop, my greetings might extend into "How's it going?", but that's it.

I think when it comes to communication, less is more.