One of my colleagues told me last summer how her son beat the addiction, and how she went to AA meetings and held hands with Robert Downey Jr. Some recent events led me to the conclusion that I might need to assess whether I need a 12 Step program.
The main principles of twelve steps, according to the Wiki article is:
- admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion;
- recognizing a greater power that can give strength;
- examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
- making amends for these errors;
- learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
- helping others that suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.
Step 1 is the most important: admitting that we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Although I can't really get into what it is I'm powerless over, I marked February 5 as the day I realized that I needed help. I felt sad, helpless, powerless and stayed awake all night. For one week, I observed my behaviors and tried to recognize patterns that triggered the feelings. And I had to consciously give up on other things too, like, sugar (still working on it), alcohol, caffeine, simple carbohydrates, etc. Reducing sugar was the hardest, because I had direct emotional reactions to it.
Not sure how long this will continue. But it's an experiment, and all experiments have an evaluation point.
Here's to control.
