In-duh-vidual Quotes

This was too hilarious not to share. The Dilbert Blog (included in my blog links) consistently has the funniest perspective on anything. For a ray of sunshine, read their entry on "The most useless job in the Universe."

The author argues that President Bush's Secret Service deserves that title. Since my employment precludes me to make political statements, I'd urge you to read it yourself and find out why.

I'm actually copying below the contents of the Dilbert Newsletter I got in my email.

Scott Adams and the Syndicate, before you sue me for copyright infringements, consider that I made only $2 in my Google Adsense over last 6 months, because no one clicks on my banner ads.
I actually paid $20/ month to ISP to read your blog and copy it on this site so more people can see it.

Now without further ado the quotes that immediately cheered me up:


"Thanks to the observant readers of the Dilbert Newsletter, here are more True Quotes from the people who put the duh in Induhvidual:

"Do you think I've been sitting here twiddling my arse?"

"At no time do I ever condone you making changes to improve things in the office."

"Snakes on a Plane - what's that about?"

"Go jump off a lake."

"He's not the sharpest canister in the ocean."

"Keep a stiff upper chin."

"The squeaky wheel gets the spoke."

"I can lead you to horsewater, but I can't make you drink."

"He'd give you the arm off his back."

Announcement in store: "We have a customer by the balls in toys needing assistance." (It repeats.)

"You play ball with me, and I'll scratch yours."

"It's half of one, six dozen of another..."

"We do not have a smoking cow at this point."

"Is there 264 days in the year? Or is it 265?"

"My daughter is as smart as a tack."

"I've got a higher IQ than your little pinky finger."

"If Dad were here right now, he'd be rolling over in his grave."

"Well, it may be the wrong tool for the job, but it is the right tool for the business."

"It's our golden goose. We better figure out how to make her purr."