Surreal conversations

I'm sitting beside my uncle's dead body at the military hospital where he was brought to when he was found unconscious. There's some problem with whether he should be released to the family, or to the police. If he's to be released to the family, they'll have to perform an autopsy first, otherwise they'll assume that the police will perform the autopsy and release him in their custody. In this case, we get to bury him sooner.

I don't know any of this yet. My cousin left me there to make arrangements for the burial. I've been pacing inside the room, and the worst thing is that I'm not the only living being in the room. Since the hospital was expecting to release my uncle without delay, they didn't transfer him to the mortuary, so he's lying on a life size carrying cart with wheels, wrapped in a white sheet. Two young army men came in, hooked up IV salines on stands, stuck in the IV needles in the back of their hand by themselves (a gruesome sight, I hope I never have to take IV saline via my hand) and lied down. I'm trying not to make eye contact, and trying to remember all the memories of him. 20 min later, one of them motioned me to come near him, and fix the drip on the saline bag. I put on my stone face, walk up to him, adjust the saline drip, and walk back to my seat.

The conversation begins.

"I'm weak." one of them says.
"Take rest, and close your eyes" (Damn, I need to look less friendly and approachable)
"I went to the toilet six times last night"
"Uh-huh" (Fascinating, I really needed to know that)
"It's probably something in the food"
"Yeah, could be" (I'm picturing Woody Allen in Annie Hall, i.e. I need a large polo mallet)
"The mess food is usually good"
"They should be" (our tax dollars are feeding you, buddy)
"It must be something in the water. I mean, there are two of us from the same place"

The other soldier now joins in on the conversation.

"We don't get sick much"
"Uh-huh" (Hey, how high do I need to raise the eyebrow to signal my apathy?)

At this point, two of the air force guys walk in. I sigh in relief. They inquire about the situation, and I have no answer. They're arranging the burial, and needs to know whether they will be able to bury him this afternoon as planned. I put on my vacuous blonde face.

"I don't know, officer. I hope you do get to bury my uncle today. All this hard work..." (Damn, where's my Melanie Griffith impression when you need one?)
"It's our duty, sir" (well, go on, then)
"We're around if you need anything" (Where's that mallet, now?)
"Thanks so much" (Now leave me alone to my Ipod)
"Well, we'll keep you company until sir arrives" (oh, joy!)

"So, where do you live?"
"Eskaton" (Now that's my monosyllabic Ah-nuld face)
"What do you do?" (Definitely not working, should I go back to Melanie then?)
"NGO work" (be polite, imti)
"Oh, really?" (Really)
"Uh-huh"
"Do you work in the villages?" (No, we only support cosmetic surgery)
"yes"
"Do you have programs in Kishoregonj?"
"Umm, no actually we do not"
"So, what kind of work do you do then?" (Kishoregonj must be the only village in Bangladesh)
"We work with children"
"oh, ok, what is it that you do?"
"I work in communication" (OK, that mallet?)
"What did you study in school?"
"Economics" (is this a job interview? recruitment for the air force?)
"Did you need this degree for your work?"
"No, but there are some elements that you use"

Now the man, let's call him, Z, becomes animated and tells the man next to him,
"See, you don't need to study to work for an NGO" (yeah, I just wasted 18 yrs of education)
"Excuse me?"
"No, no, I meant, they train you and all, you don't need any skill to work there" (Huh, imagine that.)

I'm now past caring, so removed my Alvy Singer face, and put on my Bob Dole face. I ask about his family. Wife, one daughter, four years old. 16 years in the force, two more and he can retire, or get an extension for another 7 years.

"So what do you plan to do when you retire?"
" I don't know, I didn't study much, so it'll be difficult to find a great job" (should've realized this before)
"Well, there's always demand for experienced people" (I'm trying to be supportive)
"Well, if I was a commissioned officer, yes. I don't know, now a days, you need connections."
"How about starting a business?"
"Yes, I've thought about it, but I haven't worked in a business before. I don't have those skills. Perhaps I'll go work for an NGO."