The old kid

I am the second youngest from both my father and my mother's side. My brother is the youngest. The downside of being the youngest when I was growing up was, people made decisions for you. You had very little say about what to wear, what to do, where to go, how to live your life. I have nieces who are same age as mine.

The upside was, I've never had to act mature, or responsible in any way. I could be carefree, careless, carelessly hurtful, and people would attribute it to my age, immaturity. As far as family life goes, I've passed 35 years or so without picking up my share of responsibilities in the family.

I'd have to say that it only applies to my family life. At work, I have defined roles and responsibilities, and I excel at it. I know my place, I know what to do, I know how to handle emergencies.

About three years ago, I've started noticed the shortcoming. A cousin died, and I didn't know what my responsibility within the family was. My aunt died, and I could only muster up one day off to attend the funeral. A brother in law died, I couldn't go, and then didn't know how to comfort or support my sister/cousin. Recently two cousins became sick, and I didn't have time to go visit them yet.

How is it that you are so efficient in one area, clueless in others? That you can emphatize and pre-empt so many things in one area, and the other areas just pull the rug out from underneath you?

Where's the balance?