When Life is Good, Quit Bitching about It.

This is not a post to gloat. My life is good right now. Things are going well. This post is actually a reminder that I am a very fortunate person.

Part of my walking routine is getting off transport in Farm Gate, a transportation hub, and walk home at night. It's about a 20 min walk, but it takes me longer. There are three stretches of the path that I notice,
1. Farm Gate to main bazar (in front of Chartered Accountant Building/Prothom Alo),
2. From Bazar to Sonargaon Pan Pacific, and
3. Sonargaon to Bangla Motors intersection.

The first stretch is my favorite. A lot of floating population, day laborers, household help. These people sleep on the street, most of them curled inside the basket that they carry during the day for their work. Someone once told me that they have to pay Tk.5 rent for the public space, otherwise police will harass them to no end.

The second stretch I love for the history. This stretch hosts in itself five TV stations: ATN, NTV, RTV, and my past employer, ETV, along with Channel S and some unknown ones.

The third stretch is the dark one, this is where I was attacked back in 2006, which led to my scar in the forehead.

In the first stretch, I walk slowly, and remember life. Some of the men are exhausted and asleep. Some of them have this look of defeat in their eyes. Some of them light up cigarettes and stare into the street. But you're always bound to find some people who are in the same sidewalk, but joyous, goofing off, chatting with people in an excited animated manner. This reminds me that I'm so lucky, and my problems and concerns are often trumped by the people around me.

In the second stretch, I remember my past. I started in this zone, and it is still my neighborhood. And I realize how far I've traveled since 2002.

In the third stretch, I'm always cautious, and look around for trouble. There's a new park being built, so lots of trucks at night. I look on both sides, my heart starts racing, and I go on defense mode. Sometimes I sing loudly to ward off (imaginary) people. But here I am so concerned about security, I hardly observe people. It reminds me that one incident has changed how I interact with people, and how I relate to certain things. I'm working on letting go of this feeling of dread. It's a masochistic exercise, but I need it.

By the time I get home, I'm humbled, grateful for all the luck that has come towards me, and happy to be home safe. Even if my mind is full of a thousand thoughts, this is when I comes to terms with the fact that life is indeed good, and I should quit bitching about it.