554. O, P, O, PP, O Prafulla, O Porarmukhi

The title of the entry refers to the opening line of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee's novel, Devi Choudhurani, one of my favorite Bangla novels.

Prafulla, a young beautiful adolescent girl, is married off to a well to do family. Her greedy father-in-law rejects her because of her social stature, and convinces her demure husband, also an adolescent, to abandone her and marry again. During a robbery attempt, she is left behind and found by bandits. They treat her well, accepts her as an honored woman, a Devi or goddess, and asks her to train to become one of their own.

Prafulla, in her transformation over seven years, undergoes extensive training on physical combat, and learns about self control and abandonement of material desires. She also had to learn about history, philosphy and religion in order to guide the team. Eventually, when she becomes the queen of the pack, she leads an attack on her father in law's merchant boat, and has an opportunity to confront her past.

The novel is, in the end, a comedy, because in that era, the proper place of a woman was in her husband's household. And they are eventually reunited.

But the part that stayed with me was the seven year training. I forget the exact chronology of the events, but in the first year, she has to give up material desires, and wear only clothes made of jute bags. The next year, she has to give up her taste for cooked food, and live only on vegetables and fruits. And so on. In order to become a higher human being, a Devi, she had to transcend all material desires and practice the utmost level of self control.

I am not the poster boy for self control, but from time to time, I try to become a higher order of human being by giving up things.

In the mid 1990s, I gave up meat for a while, but then found out that my grocery bill went through the roof, and I couldn't maintain a proper nutrition on a student budget without my share of McDonalds. I keep telling myself that I will again give it up when I can afford to. I can't afford to, I guess.

I quit smoking twice, and have been smoke free since 2002, give or take one or two sympathetic puffs (to keep people company). The first time, I quit cold turkey, and eventually the cravings won over. The second time, I convinced myself that I won't pay for cigarettes, and will only consume if received free. This slowed down the consumption significantly, until I got the strength to quit altogether.

I made a resolution to give up ice cream, my 2nd most favorite food item (after snickers bar), until I achieved something. I remained ice cream free for almost a year, give or take a few indiscretions when among friends. Last week, Bren brought over a cone, and I ate it very quickly, then realized that I have had ice cream only five times in nine months in Kabul. That's progress, if you know me from the days of 7 scoops of Movenpik. I don't crave it anymore, I guess. (I didn't achieve my objective either, ironically).

There's a (I think) Lalon saying that when the physical self grieves over something that is lost in the material world, the spirit rejoices over the opportunity for growth.

I guess I'll keep growing, either in the physical world (like my waist size), or in the spiritual world.

Now about that Snickers bar...