Reader's Digest Flashback

When I was growing up, the only newspaper/magazine of western ideas available to us was Reader's Digest. So I'd read articles with titles like, "Pardon me, but I like Housework!", "Virtue of Christian films", "What I learned from my grandmother", etc and be touched by the simple emotions of the free world. It wasn't until I started working at the Bard library summer of 1994, and got exposed to a wide variety of counterculture zines, and then picked up a Reader's Digest, when I realized what kind of Pleasantville type stereotype they were promoting.

I've always been conscious of how my image and sense of self morphed over the years. So, I haven't abandoned things that shaped me into who I am today (topics ranging from Monet, Mapplethorpe, Shel Silverstein, Woody Allen, Buddhism, Basquiat, Tom Fin, Misery Chastain, Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, Ella Fitzerald, Huang Yongyu), but I am able to stand back and laugh at some of the idiotic notions that I believed in at one point or another. I call them my Reader's Digest moments.

So, I had a reader's digest flashback when I read the following article last night. I lost the source (it's in my google reader somewhere, but I copied to a notepad since I was tired) so I'll just quote part of the text that made me laugh out loud around midnight.

You have three weeks until, Valentine's Day. Don't have a partner just now? ...relationship expert Patrick Perrine gives these sure fire tips for meeting new people:

"Try a new perspective," says Perrine. "From meeting new people to asking for a date; think outside the candy box,"

1) Attend Events - Attend a meeting of at least 3 organizations, ones that interest you and have plenty of ...

2) Don't Move Too Fast - You're there to find a serious relationship. Those don't happen from casual encounters of the close kind. True love is first a meeting of minds; the bodies connect later."

3) Dress For Success - You'll feel more comfortable if your hair is neat, clothes flattering, nails manicured, and your hands warm. Pick a shirt color close to your eye color. Your sincerity is more likely to be believed.

4) Pretend you're famous. Work the room like you're Bill Clinton campaigning in 1990-or a laid-back actor (Rupert Everette in My Best Friend's Wedding.) Pretend to be someone you admire. How would he break the ice? How does he draw other people out?

5) Say Hello and Shut Up - Think you can't make small talk? Sure you can! When you've spotted your Dream Valentine across the room, and the longer-than- usual eye contact is accompanied by even a smile; go for it. Walk over and introduce yourself. Say "Hello, I'm [name]. This is my first event of [name the organization]; have you been a member for long?" You want to get the other person talking. Remember the quote, "A bore is someone who keeps talking after I have something to say."

6) Be a Good Listener - Keep eye contact most or all of the time. Remember details about his interests and pick up on one of these details to share your own interests. Then turn the conversation back to the other person.

"Follow these steps," says Perrine, "and you're on your way to a year- round Valentine's Day."

Say it with me Annie, "La Dee Da, La Dee Da, La La."