One of my favorite quotes from Mean Girls is uttered by Lacey Chabert, "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular".One of the popular joints in Banani Road 11 is Coffee World, where they serve various version of hot and cold coffee, and exactly three kinds of sandwiches. And all three of them taste like someone stomped on a rubber chicken, took the pieces and served it up with onions and mayonnaise. But it's the Dhaka equivalent of the Viper Room, I suppose. People go there to be seen, show others that they go there. And thanks to the cramped seating, you can't help but be mindful of others beings' presence.
I had my second date since March after an eight hour work schedule on friday. I was tired, hungry and developed verbal incontinence, where the only expression I could manage was my Vancomb Lady look perfected by Nicole Sullivan of Mad TV. I was interested, but couldn't get a word in edgewise, thanks to the people around me.
There's this guy sitting behind me, whose ring tone sounded like some kid is walking around with sqeaking shoes. Really, who in the right mind would have that? And everytime I'd try to say something funny, the phone would ring, and we'd both be distracted. Not the mention the vapid flock of himbos, surely from the university next door, talking about their (I'm guessing non-existent) motorcycles.
So finally after downing two cups of coffee, and barely any conversation, we moved the "party" to Dish N Dessert, one of the restaurants I've passed by all the time but been to only once. I'm thinking, it's pouring rain, and it never looks popular, so we'll have some space to talk. And I'm starving. It can't be any worse.
Little did I know that it was soiree night. There was this couple singing golden oldies in Hindi, Bangla and god knows what. We take the table farthest from this extravaganza. And after sitting down, I noticed my other pet peeve right next to me.
People, people who need people, should leave their kids at home when meeting them in dinner. One kid, four adults, the kid is obviously bored, and running around trying to generate attention while the father is talking about some business trip as if he's reciting Leaves of Grass.
After soup, we are trying to converse, while the singer finishes one song and says, "here's this song that you requested". We started joking that one of us could accidentally trip on the wire on our way to the food table and disconnect the speaker, and end our misery. But there actually is a captive audience it seems. They are sitting right next to the singer's podium. And the daughter of family is asleep on the table, and the father is clapping and shouting "one more". Really, people, leave the kids at home. Babysitters are so cheap here. Worse yet, because of the humidity and condensation, actual water started dripping from the air vent above our table.
By the time we got to the dessert, we stopped talking and just started giggling at the absurdity of it all.
Free speech isn't cheap. Just ask Yahoo! China. Bangladesh is a crowded place, with more people per square feet than any other place in the world, but you'd think that the premium you pay for over-priced coffee and food, you'd get some privacy and some opportunity to socialize in an air-conditioned space and get to know your date.
And you'd be wrong. Instead you find more ways to feel alienated. It's like the Seinfeld joke about TV remote. Men are not concerned with who they are with, they want to know who else they are with, even if the others are sitting two feet away from you. Because, you see, men are hunters and women are gatherers.
And the hang out places in Bangladesh of course know that, whatever that means.
