I had an interesting friday. Woke up at 8am, hand-washed two weeks worth of socks and shirts, took me about two hours. Then I cooked beef with potatoes, about a week's worth. It didn't defrost well, so I ended up with rubbery pieces. And a week's worth, at that.By this point I was too tired to do anything and was ready to call it a day. And it was just 11am. I lied on my bed and watched CNN broadcasting some Larry King celebration, hosted by to my most favorite comic, Bill Maher. Well, he's my third favorite male comic, after Ed O'Neill, and Conan O'Brien. Hmm, something about Irish funnymen. Must be all that guilt.
Bill's ABC show Politically Incorrect was my late night staple when I was in grad school. Here are some of his gems.
"Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
"The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough."
"Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need."
"Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?"
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
"I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again."
"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease."
And the comment that got his show cancelled in 2002:
"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."
Fortunately, my day didn't end there. It continued with lunchtime conversation about pregnancy, afternoon coffee at Coffee World revolving around suicide, dinner conversation at Saltz about how to stop sexual harrassment, and late night ice-cream at move-n'pik about work exhaustion. But I'm too exhausted to write about them now.
